![Eldritch Blast D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGU3TN3ZI6a8w7ederFHyYf-VCLcrDRod9Vjs3VJBSfsWdm-zKeOro7rYVHbmwjpvnjh9iwdiLpto7Xge8AgmZJn8sKXVFwVy9hGQSjiAAJ6SsuTDY2Zu1X7Wo7CVBs-mwkn5_nyisYI0/s200/eldritch_blast_bottle.png)
Potion of Healing. Dwarven Draught. Eldritch Blast. Sneak Attack. Bigby's Crushing Thirst Quencher. Illithid Brain Juice.
It was a beautiful sight to beholder.
I had seen and heard tell of exotic soda flavors from Jones in the past--flavors such as Candy Corn for Halloween and Turkey & Gravy for Thanksgiving. I could only begin to imagine what Illithid Brain Juice would taste like.
![Bigby's Crushing Thirst Quencher D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlqPfH6u8KnyOFMcdB1guER7sPM-DRKT5WbQAByQUgra_MAx5tWTzi6M16WhJNJEB6mKegsZo4jnvu2-BPnmZcMLB3gFM-kPvG1nPcrT_M7e7neJj5hnMCPtclLeocl42v5LYQ5UCqzns/s200/bigby's_bottle.png)
"Please note that due to high demand for these limited edition hand-made bottles orders are taking up to 2 weeks to process and ship. Thanks for your patience!"
So I waited a little longer than usual.
And I continued to wait.
Then I got an e-mail from the Jones people saying there was a high demand for these limited edition sodas, and because each soda is lovingly handcrafted, it would be just a little longer before my batch was ready. Thank me for my patience.
![Dwarven Draught D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG3mqbX0Y4axSBo4TIeLXXJKhzv7RPyE_TwFdUxJQ_26lmiDgYwBT2lzyU0973qHsOUQAzSI4U8kfV5psLqwkXE7RiN5QOmLneU2sXK55p4Rw_Yl180so22oziWWYBG7wWZqxdQ08CcW0/s200/dwarven_draught_bottle.png)
Almost a month after placing my order, a package finally arrived. It was a large book that fooled me into thinking it was a 6-pack of glass soda bottles. I continued to wait.
At last, a month after placing my order, a package finally arrived. This time, there were sodas inside.
Beautiful, beautiful sodas.
I immediately opened the Potion of Healing. Page 229 of the Dungeon Master's Guide v.3.5 suggests that a potion of healing might taste something like almonds, so I bristled with anticipation as I drew the bottle toward my nose. For smelling it, that is; I drink out of my mouth.
![Potion of Healing D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD85uk5JpN48d5ZlWAI2y5ulRJAhLqE4ia31sFhg2hOLVN5YV0l7oXnIO2FNHdyToP7srAYEIMxNWItkoAVKOaw0q53v1Osgr7kF1jL6xmxht7XCwNNXpNqlwJhxEckiCblBx97jq0Mi0/s200/potion_of_healing_bottle.png)
I tasted it. Still vaguely nutty (which was probably just my eager imagination) and fruity (some sort of dark berry, perhaps?), quite fizzy, and with a mildly creamy aftertaste. Decent, but I needed something like water to wash it down with.
Curious. An odd soda, to be sure, but creative enough to make me happy. Besides, I was more interested in the other crazy flavors the fine folks at Jones came up with. I wanted to know what a Sneak Attack to the face tasted like.
Apparently, it tastes like cream soda.
![Sneak Attack D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhseOYkmh_LIsoTMtorwKdTKQ4syGdDyjyvl_UPLuX4koxeK3nQD5npTFLsyUpsWmoaLsTGTpk8d5n-ToEkoRVcApL_P5B4kIP7qe6n-UqLYp6RiYz0pQK2v8348k_0N7KFx687OQCu0wY/s200/sneak_attack_bottle.png)
Dwarven Draught? Root beer. Eldritch Blast? Green apple. Bigby's Crushing Thirst Quencher? Cola. Illithid Brain Juice? Grape soda.
And that strange Potion of Healing? Sugar-free black cherry soda.
Curse you, Splenda.
I was disappointed, to tell you the truth. Soda bottles with D&D-themed labels are great fun and all, but I'm not much of a collector of knickknacks and bric-a-brac; the D&D affiliation caught my interest, but the potentially weird flavors are what moved me to order a case.
![Potion of Healing D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjWhc1KARmg_l2cjVTVNOEm0j6CErUJUwgxZWf8rfFCidpsDjvgZtpt5UeHvkQzosigrDtNAhbEITcN-AyoyqbuJrdTW8jl7LWKn2zXwZ391Cb_K-2LE8pICSDcdf5jGJWCSy09UttHs0/s200/potion_of_healing.jpg)
"Four out of five adventurers agree: A Potion of Healing is the perfect pick-me-up after going a few rounds with an ancient red dragon. (The fifth adventurer was eaten.) Effect: You can spend a healing surge and end all thirst-related effects you suffer."
Cute, right? I'm not sure if it was quite worth all the waiting and the money I spent, but I can at least claim I'm a big enough D&D dork to have ordered the sodas in the first place.
![Illithid Brain Juice D&D Jones Soda](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiILNvnaMS48kLMD_c8TJ6pErDOgiTo0q5jkOMKV-2LQ-P-zzcb3z63DYner95qB0VLODPLX69zO-qK1Lo7nPhkRIL60JFfxn_Xge9bQ18pgDtvfv7UZqL496BprDcf5QNOISq0GB7-UlM/s320/brain_juice.jpg)
1 comment:
I'm sorry to hear your investment didn't work out...
On the other hand, there's always the Potion here in Japan. It tastes terrible, which means it must really be medicine!
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