Most Extreme Elimination Challenge: Where failure is funny

In America, we've got game shows such as Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, Jeopardy!, and The Price is Right. In Japan, the game shows are quite similar to ours, except Alex Trebek is an attractive woman with a bowl of hot soup tempting you to give up trying to win 80 bajillion yen ($7.50 U.S.) by outlasting the other guy who's also standing in a freezing, snow-covered outdoor jail cell wearing nothing but tighty-whities. Also, there are no podiums or trivia questions.

Yes, Japanese game shows have gained notoriety for being more absurd than Dennis Rodman's hair, so much so that there are really no more jokes that I can make about them; Japanese game show jokes have been almost as overdone as jokes about Dennis... Rodman's... uh, hair. Oops.

Irregardless! Whether the stereotype holds true for the majority or minority of Japanese game shows, there is one show in particular that is, in fact, fairly ridiculous, especially when a bunch of Americans get their hands on it.

I'm talking about Takeshi's Castle, a popular Japanese game show that is akin to a real-life video game.

Contestants charge up a steep and slippery slope, trying to avoid the fake boulders rolling at them; they try race through a maze without getting caught by men in funny costumes; they dangle from a spinning mushroom suspended over a pool of water in to reach the other side; and they generally make fools of themselves while attempting (and often failing) to run, hop, and climb their way past any number of silly obstacles just to reach Takeshi's fabled castle, where presumably some treasure or princess awaits.

C'mon, folks. If a pudgy, pasta-loving plumber can do it, then this should be a cinch.

Takeshi's Castle is entertaining enough on its own, but America's Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (known, logically, as MXC for short) transforms the show from "entertaining" into "stupidly hilarious."

MXC takes actual footage from Takeshi's Castle, mashes it up, and completely replaces all of the Japanese speaking with off-the-wall English dialogue, gives all the challenges double-entendre-laden names, and adds side-splitting audio commentary to the challenges.

With this new dialogue, contestants are arbitrarily divided into two opposing teams, and the commentators weave a "plot" for each episode around them. Team matchups have included the likes of Cops vs. Cons, Las Vegas vs. Sesame Street, Personal Hygiene vs. Comic Book Industry, and Hot Chicks of Primetime vs. Hot Celebrity Mommies.

[20 sextillion yen says that somebody stumbles across this blog using the search terms "hot chicks of primetime" or "hot celebrity mommies." Or "sextillion."]

MXC invents new names and roles for the regular characters of Takeshi's Castle, resulting in a main cast consisting of hosts Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship, field marshal Captain Tenneal, and field reporter Guy LaDouche, plus some minor characters such as Chief Otto Parts. Contestants receive punny names and goofy occupations that usually play off each other, and it's almost a guarantee that one contestant in each episode will proudly carry the last name of Babaganoosh. I bring this up because Babaganoosh is one of the funniest words you're allowed to say on TV.

True fact. Look it up.

Each episode ends with Kenny Blankenship's Most Painful Eliminations of the Day, a recap of the worst wipeouts and biggest botches seen in the episode. Some of these are just embarrassing, while some are so amazingly painful that it's a wonder anybody can stand up and chuckle at themself after contorting into positions that not even Gumby could achieve. Hence their suspiciously wise catch phrase that everybody shouts together at the end of every show: DON'T!! GET!! ELIMINATED!!!

Folks, I rarely watch TV of my own volition, but this is one show that I would pause Mega Man to go watch. It's that funny. The humor ranges from sophomoric to silly to unexpectedly clever; it's probably not for young kids or anybody offended by political incorrectness or occasional sexual/scatological references, but there's such a good blend of humor that anything too disagreeable usually passes pretty quickly.

Still, it's pun-tastic, and it's outrageous, and I love it.

[Alex]: Hey, Nathaniel, don't you think it's time to actually show people some clips from MXC?

[Nathaniel]: Right you are, Alex! Here's two clips from the Superheroes vs. MySpace episode.

[Alex]: Doesn't this one have a half-naked guy in it?

[Nathaniel]: And some inappropriate and possibly offensive jokes, as well!

[Alex]: Well, I think we should at least warn people about that.

[Nathaniel]: Truer words have never been spoken. Let's watch those clips!

Pole Riders | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

Rotating Surfboard of Death | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

[Alex]: I think the Spike TV website has a bunch more of these clips, plus a schedule of when you can see these episodes on TV.

[Nathaniel]: Good to know. But I think our readers can handle one more clip before they go.

[Alex]: Or they could buy the DVD box sets of all five seasons. They're something like $25-$30 apiece.

[Nathaniel]: Indeed! But if our readers could afford real entertainment, they wouldn't be here, Alex. Onto our last clip, from the College Sports vs. The Mall of Baghdad episode!

Log Drop | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

[MXC logo from Wikipedia. Other MXC images from Spike.com. Image of Dennis Rodman's hair from cm1.theinsider.com. Dennis Rodman from outer space. But you knew that already.]

Waiting For Wednesday, Issue 2

In case anyone is hanging onto the edge of their seats after my post yesterday about the status of my original graphic novel...well, let's just say I don't want to talk about it.

Not right now, anyway. Today will likely be one of those days at the office where some teeth-gnashing and fist clenching is involved, and I'm sure there will be an argument or three over the latest missed deadline by my artist. He did manage to send over two more pages yesterday afternoon, so now he's officially one day late, and four pages short. But the two pages he did send were quite good.

Right.

So, in lieu of me having a rage-induced stroke at the keyboard this morning, I'd much rather just give you a run down of this week's comic releases that I'm most looking forward to. And, no, smart guy, I will not say something like, "well, my book would be a release I'm looking forward to buying, if it wasn't currently 50 pages short of a finished product." So there.

And now, onto this week's captivating (always, utterly captivating) Waiting For Wednesday.

First up is the most important comic book of all time. Okay, so maybe that's a stretch, but--ya know what? No, it is the most important comic book of all time. Today sees the release of The Goon, issue 32, which is the Official Tenth Anniversary Issue of The Goon! You know how I feel about The Goon, so all's I'm gonna do is flash the cover right quick:

So, Happy Anniversary to everyone involved with The Goon, and a big congrats to series creator Eric Powell!

Next up, we have Locke & Key: Head Games, issue three. This series is written by Joe Hill, son of horror writer Stephen King. This is the second volume of Locke & Key stories from Hill, and this series is in my top ten favorite monthly books. Here's the cover to this week's issue:

And, instead of me trying in vein to explain what the series is about, here's the word straight from the writer's Web site:

Following a horrifying tragedy, the surviving members of the Locke family relocate to Lovecraft, Massachusetts, to start new lives in the ancestral family manse: Keyhouse. Their new residence soon turns out to be a place of shadows and wonders, with a secret door leading to the world of ghosts, and something stirring down in the well...

Head Games follows the original mini-series and, so far at least, is just as entertaining and, frankly, creepy as all get out. The art on this book is beyond words (Hmmm...thinking about that last comment a bit, I realize that all art is beyond words...since it's art...and not...words. Right.)

Anywhatchamacallit (remember whatchamacallits? Do they still make them?), onto the next. Third on this week's list is Deadpool, issue eight, written by Daniel Way and drawn by Paco Medina.

Deadpool is fast becoming a favorite character of mine, and this current series is very solid. As a character, Deadpool often breaks down the fourth wall, and his books in the past have always been written with great humor and crazy violence. Issue eight is a Dark Reign tie-in, and from the cover at least, it looks like Deadpool may be in for some good old fashioned comic book violence when he comes up against a certain "superhero" team.

And, finally, we have House of Mystery, issue 11, from Vertigo. I've talked about this series in the past, so you know how much I enjoy it. Here's the cover:

This issue marks the beginning of a new story arc, so it's probably a good place for new readers to jump on board and give the book a shot.

And that's it for me this week. What about you? What are you all waiting for this week?

Project Update

So, a little while ago, I wrote a post about the status of my original graphic novel. When I wrote that post, I wasn't in the best of moods, and with good reason.

My artist had missed several deadlines, and pretty much everyone involved with the project wanted him out. For good, that is. Now, I fought as much as I could, but it's hard to argue with someone over an artist that managed to miss three straight deadlines and was running nearly three months behind schedule.

The book was (and, technically, still is) supposed to ship to stores this summer. That's right. This summer. And, at the time of my last post on the subject, I had four pages with full colors and another six done in pencil and ink. And the book is quite a bit longer than four pages.

Things didn't look good. But, long story short, we came to an agreement of sorts, and the artist was to remain attached to the project. Now, Nathaniel knows how crazy I've been driven by this particular project, so when you get the chance, you can ask him. Because, hoo-boy, I was driven.

Crazy, that is.

And getting this artist to stay on board was a very big, and very happy, deal for me. So, agreements were made and new contracts were...um...agreed to. And things were okay for a few days. Then, pages started coming in--four pages in one day, actually!

And I was even happier. And things were going to be fine. And the book would live to see print. And I think you're sensing a turn in the action, right?

Well, if you were, congrats, because a turn in the action was indeed taken. Today is Deadline Day around these parts, and my artist has until roughly 6:00 or so to get the remaining pages owed to me for this current batch in. Like I said, he's turned in four already, but he still owes me six.

And, while I am, above all else, a realist, I am holding out hope that the pages will come in. And they'll be great. And things will be fine.

So, please do cross your fingers for me, and maybe--just maybe--tomorrow's post won't be "Why Alex's Book Will Never Be Published."

GameCola March Issue Is Here!

Indeedy! The February issue of the humorous online video game newsletter, GameCola, is here! Check it out!

My contributions this month include a review of Mega Man 4, a new column about Internet Flash videos called "Flash Flood," and participation in one of this month's podcasts. Just ignore any suggestion that I was in Podcast #4; that's barely true at all.

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If you like GameCola, subscribe to their mailing list by going to the "Free Stuff for Referrals" section, and help me get a chance to win free stuff! Insert your e-mail address under "Your Friend's E-Mail Address," and then under "Your E-Mail Address," enter: nhoover [at] gamecola [dot] net (but, you know, with the "@" and "." and all that instead).
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What are you waiting for? Go read it already!