Exfanding Review: The Naked Artist...And Other Comic Book Legends

Let's kick off 2011 with a bang! Or, at least, with a review. I got plenty of cool swag this Christmas, and as always, I made like a bandit with a pile of new, shiny books to read.

At the top of that list was The Naked Artist, the excellent insider's look at the comic book industry and its major players, by writer/illustrator Bryan Talbot.

This is one of those one-sitting reading experiences, as the book clocks in at just under 130 pages and reads at a breakneck pace. Talbot—an old pro of the comics industry—shares anecdotes he’s heard (and witnessed) at various comics conventions around the world.

As he states many times throughout the book, some of these stories are true, others are embellished, and others are completely made up. Though, to that last point, one gets the feeling that everything within these covers has happened to someone, at some point.

The stories range from the laugh-out-loud funny to the truly outrageous, and in most cases, alcohol consumption plays an integral role.

I found myself laughing hysterically at certain points, and shaking my head at others.

There’s some “inside baseball” here, for sure, but the stories take place just outside the realm of comics—and usually in a hotel bar. So don’t pick this up expecting to hear publisher horror stories, or tales about nightmarish freelancers. And, though feuds between creators are mentioned, the vast majority of this books deals with what happens after a convention ends, and the party begins.

This one’s certainly not an all-ages read, so don’t go buying it for little Johnny’s birthday because he likes Batman.

I’d venture so far as to say that you don’t even really need to be a comics fan to enjoy these stories. Sure, it adds to the fun knowing a little bit about the people involved, but Talbot writes each story as he would tell them at dinner, and they’re meant to be enjoyed by everyone.

Like the one about the artist who was invited to a convention in a foreign country. In a blizzard. And was left waiting at the airport for hours before breaking down and bumming a ride with a local truck driver. Who proceeded to drop off said artist several miles away from the convention center.

So the artist walked. In a blizzard.

Or the one about the...well, the naked comic artist who became locked out of his hotel room during a convention and had to make his way down to the (crowded) lobby to get someone to open his door.

There are anecdotes about people like Neil Gaiman, and Grant Morrison, and Simon Bisley in here. And there are stories about Will Eisner and Dave Gibbons and Alan Moore.

Not all of them deal with being naked, but all of them are endearing and fun and entertaining.

So if you've ever wondered what goes on after a convention ends and the creators all get together, pick this book up if you see it on the shelves--it's worth your time.

Fandom Resolutions

Now that we've looked back at 2010 and made our New Year's Resolutions, there's only one thing left to do so that we can kick off this new year properly: We need to make some resolutions for our favorite fandoms.

I can't speak for Alex, but the last two years have been disappointing and/or divisive for literally every single one of my all-time favorite fandoms. If it were a simple matter of a weak sequel here and a poorly executed spinoff there, I might not be so frustrated, but all of the fandoms I've held dear have been rocketing off in unwelcome directions, losing sight of what makes them great, and trying too hard to attract new fans. There has never been a time so many fandoms--nay, so many entertainment industries--have been in such great need of some third-party resolutions.

I've invited Alex to join in the resolutioning; my resolutions will be in blue, while his will be in red [Alex's Edit: Um, yeah. Actually, mine will be in black, since I have no idea how to make them red] [Nathaniel's counter-edit: No, yours will be in red. Poof!], but if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, it should be pretty obvious who thought of what.


Resolutions for the comics industry:

- Collect everything in trades. As a guy who refuses to buy single issues (with the exception of the Serenity: Float Out one-shot), I will never never never read your comics unless they're part of a collection. Even a book of mismatched one-shots from different series could be the exposure someone needs to get interested in the five or six other comics that were packaged with the one-shot he's been looking for.

- As an addendum to that, I'd like to see Marvel and DC release both hardcover and softcover trades on the same day. Typically, the more expensive hardcover ships first, with the paperback lagging sometimes 6 months behind. To me, that's just absurd.

I'd love to see the following happen: Allow the direct market (comic book shops) to order either hard- or softcover editions, and ship out hardcovers to retail stores, like Borders and Amazon. Offer both the hard- and softcover in Previews, and let comic book retailers/consumers choose which they prefer. I think the vast majority will trend towards the softcovers, and I also think this will boost trade sales in comic shops.

Comics shops get trades just about 2 weeks before the chain stores do, so sending out softcovers will give comics retailers a fighting chance to compete with the bigger chains.

Ship the hardcovers to the retail giants, mostly because they can offer discounts that comics shops simply cannot compete with. If you really want the hardcover, you can get it online or at a chain store for 25 to 40% off.


Resolutions for the music and radio industries:

- Stop copying each other. All of the radio stations in my county are near-identical anymore; much of the modern music I hear defies genre distinctions because it has too much in common with everything else, and most of the oldies I hear are from the same stable of two dozen artists that everyone is now drawing from. I never thought of getting satellite radio until the 25-minute car trip where I heard the same Elton John song on five different stations.

- Not every song needs to have vocals. Thanks to Pandora, I've been exposed to phenomenal bands from around the world that are strictly instrumental, and neither mainstream radio nor most mainstream artists seem to be interested in or willing to take a risk on a tune that has no words. If popular artists and radio stations start sneaking in an instrumental piece here or there (and not just the novelty ones), that might be enough to expand listeners' musical tastes enough to navigate us out of the homogenous musical mire we seem to be stuck in.

- Please, please cut back on the number of songs that employ excessive repetition to fill time, emphasize a point, or replace lyrical creativity. Repeating the same five words for almost half a minute doesn't count as a chorus, and singing the same line for the entire last third of a song--with no variation whatsoever--should have been outlawed after "We're an American Band" ruined repetition for everyone in 1973.


Resolutions for the television and film industries:

- Stop pandering to people who aren't part of your fanbase, and accept that your show or movie might not be liked by everyone. Tell a good story, period. If you know you've already got a huge fanbase, and you want to take your franchise in a different direction, break it to the dissenters gently. Don't tell them, "Your fandom is dead. We're going this way now." Make it clear where you're headed, but make the transition a smooth one--give your passengers a chance to get off the bus gracefully before you slam on the breaks and veer off the highway.

- Do something original, please. Stop making the same show--or a slight variation of a type of show--over and over again. For example, I like the History Channel show, Pawn Stars. I don't like the half-dozen copycats that have popped up on various other networks.


Resolutions for the video game industry:

- Major companies need to stop rehashing the games of the past. Groundbreakingly creative indie games are on the rise while too many big companies churn out the latest version of Didn't I Just Play This. With so many older games now available for download or as part of a compilation, you can give the remakes a rest. You can also come up with more fascinating locations than "Ice World" and "Lava World"; we're beyond the point where "jungle" qualifies as a complex and interesting place to be. Don't throw out what works, but don't be so attached to what works that you can't evolve.

- Embrace the fans you have, and remember what got them interested in your games. You can be attentive to industry trends and feedback from your fans, but don't let everybody else determine what your game should be like. If you're making a sequel or prequel, look at where your series has been, and make your next game something that makes sense within the context of the series. Don't alienate your longtime fans by giving them something you think they want, based on the current gaming landscape--keep your eye on your series, and see where it takes you.

- Um. What he said. Oh, and more games with Batman. I like Batman.

Year in Review: 2010

And just like that, we're back to writing up a Year in Review post, wherein we'll tell you all how great we are (or, I should say, were)--both as writers and as men--by creating a "Best of" list. Sure, it's arrogant and self-serving, but hey. That's just part of our growing Internet Fame.

Just wait until you see the limo.

Speaking of this year's posts (I know, that was a horrible transition--but you try writing about the stuff we write about all year, and see if you're not exhausted come January), I wanted to say that, while I may have won the great Resolutions Challenge of 2010 (or whatever name I gave it yesterday), Nathaniel definitely won the Best Blogger Award for the year.

Whereas my posts were rushed and not very well thought out, Nathaniel kept things professional here by making sure that our high personal standards for this blog were met. And he did so in spades. He stepped up and ensured that our number of readers climbed throughout the year. Personally, I think 2010 was Nathaniel's strongest year so far, and honestly, choosing my 7 favorite posts of his is going to be difficult.

For him, choosing my 7 best posts should be pretty simple. Slim pickings, really.

Still, as always, I had a blast writing and I'm looking forward to kicking Ewok butt in 2011. So, without further pandering, we present the Best of Exfanding, 2010. Keep in mind that the posts are in no particular order, other than when we stumbled upon them/remembered they were written.

Oh, and as an extra-special side note, Nathaniel will not be participating in the "Best of" list today, mostly because his computer was taken down by some kind of nasty virus (possibly the Snow Widget, though it's still too early to determine what/who the culprit is).

So today's fare will be pretty one-sided, and what I say goes. [Nathaniel's note: My computer got better, but I'm really enjoying how Alex is doing all the work for me; I'll just put an asterisk next to the items I voted for, too.] So, um. Enjoy.


Alex's Favorite Posts by Nathaniel:

1. Mega Man Marathon: 1-10 in 2010* - This one makes me happy for a couple of reasons. First off, it was a great post, and exactly what this blog is all about. Or, at least, what we intended the blog to be about when he came up with the thing. Also, it was epically epic. Second, I remember how excited Nathaniel was going into that weekend, and how much work was actually involved in pulling it off. Kudos, sir.

2. Comics Cooldown - On the surface, you'd think that this one would never make my list of favorites. But, despite the fact that we might be losing a member of the fanboy legion, I appreciated the honesty of the post. And, even though he's only read comics for a couple of years, I think Nathaniel hits upon a lot of points that even the longest tenured fans have to agree with.

3. ...and suddenly, Halloween is fun again. - This one I dig so much because I'm a fan of irony. This past Halloween, I didn't really get the chance to do anything uniquely Halloween-ish, but that was okay, because Nathaniel--who hates the holiday--did.

4. What I Learned from the Atari 2600 - Because of its excess amounts of Awesome.

5. How I Got Into Gaming* - This one's essential Exfanding reading. [Nathaniel sez: "Agreed!"]

6. Big Life Stuff - I like when we write about things that have nothing to do with capes, dragons, or Mega Men. And "Life Stuff" is my favorite topic to write and to read about, especially when it's Good Life Stuff.

7. What If the Empire Never Struck Back?* - Possibly my favorite post of the year.

Honorable Mention: J.J. Abrams, Please Stop Killing People - Best title to a post we've ever had.

Man, but could I go on and on...I'll stop here, but only with reluctance. Actually, ya know what? I'll cheat. Add this one to the list, too.


Alex's Favorite Posts by Alex:

1. The Thrill of the Hunt - I like this one for no other reason than it was plain fun to write, and to think about the days spent chasing that stupid, wonderful book.

2. An Introduction to Book Collecting: Book Hunting NYC - This one was fun, and it served as one of my very few actual Exfanding posts. So, yay.

3. Comic Shop News - Because it reminds me why I love these things I love.

4. Hack Attack - Sure, Jeph Loeb doesn't need anyone to stand up for him, but I was still happy to do it.

5. The One I've Been Avoiding* - It felt good getting that out, and I'm very happy I wrote this follow up.

6. The Critic - Because nobody messes with my funny books.

7. Exfanding Review: Firefly and Serenity - This was the culmination of my favorite experiment in fandom exposure. I really fell in love with this series and film, and it's something I know I'll return to soon.

Honorable Mention: BookExpo 2010! - Because of the Neil Gaiman/french fries story. Oh, and I should also mention On Two Years because...well. Because.


Nathaniel's Favorite Posts by Alex:

1. Alex's New Year's Resolutions...[for Nathaniel] - This was such a delightfully absurd way to usher in the New Year, and the pictures still make me laugh.

2. Good Things - The well-told story of a memorable, milestone day in Exfanding history.

3. Exfanding Review: WWII in HD - My late grandfather was a World War II vet, so I have a great deal of respect for those who served, and a strong appreciation for the stories they've told. This post was unexpected, descriptive, and thoughtful enough to win me over.

4. Random Sunday Linking - Aside from the fact that I've been begging Alex for the better part of a year to rename this post to something more descriptive (which is a bonus resolution for Alex this year--minimize the number of posts containing the words "Random," "Sunday," and "Linking"), this out-of-the-blue post about coffee (which I don't drink) is somehow one of my favorites. We're here to share and discuss our favorite fandoms, and coffee certainly fits the bill.

5. Because I'm Not Batman - A bluntly honest, tell-it-like-it-is post that provides some valuable insights about my favorite co-blogger, which puts a lot of his other posts into perspective.

6. Why Bookstores Are Like A T-Rex - Thought-provoking, engaging, and full of things I might say if I ever wrote about bookstores.

Honorable Mention: (Two can play at this game!) Random Sunday Posting - Aside from being a nice reminder of that bonus resolution I just mentioned, this was one of the most stupidly amusing things we had on the blog all year.


Nathaniel's Favorite Posts by Nathaniel:

1. Nathaniel's New Year's Resolutions...[for Alex] - Even when I write things that other people consider to be funny, it's not often I write something that makes me laugh every time I read it.

2. One of my votes also goes to the Mega Man Marathon that Alex mentioned above, but I'd like to add the follow-up reflection to my vote, because it's really only a separate post because reading all of that in one sitting is hazardous to your health.

3. Confronting Your (Star Trek) Nemesis - This was one of my most personally meaningful posts, as it finally allowed me to come to terms with one of the biggest shortfalls of my favorite fandom.

4. I Want My Obscure Fandom Back - After two years of watching my favorite fandoms go mainstream for all the wrong reasons, I finally take a stand.

5. Game Over; Party Perished; Thou Art Dead - A subject that'd been on my mind for a while, which came together rather cohesively on electronic paper.

Honorable Mentions: Exfanding Review: Crystalis (GBC) - The review I'd been wanting to write of a game I've been wanting to play for about a decade; and Alien: Science-Fearction - The first full-blown Exfanding post the blog had seen in months, and one that I'd been wanting to write since Year One.


[Okay, Alex, you can have your post back.]

And now, because Nathaniel wanted to come up with a few extra categories, I present the following:


Favorite Joint Post:

Alex: This one's easy--our two-part New York Comic Con Recap. It marked the first time your friendly neighborhood Exfanders attended a con together, and geekdom hasn't been the same since.

Nathaniel: Ah, but let's not forget that our mission to expose ourselves to the films of Akira Kurosawa culminated in our viewing of Seven Samurai, which occurred just barely on this side of 2010. I think the post does a fine job of simultaneously showcasing our writing and putting a neat little bow on one of the most fun and educational blog projects we've ever had.


Favorite Possible Coolest Picture on the Internet:



Favorite Photo of a Normal-Sized Man Holding a Hilariously Sized Book:



Favorite Image of a Floating Grant Morrison:


And, Finally, Best Thing on the Blog in 2010:

New Year's De-Resolutions

Last year at this time, Alex and I were making our geeky New Year's resolutions. He made resolutions for me, and in retaliation, I made resolutions for him. I don't know what the heck we were doing in 2010, but I can tell you right now that there's no point in making a contest out of this--our resolutions for 2010 could easily double as our resolutions for 2011.

Did we accomplish anything at all?

Well, Alex demanded I be "more vocal about hating things." I penned a manifesto not long ago; by using the word "manifesto," does that qualify as being vocal about hating something?

[Alex's Edit: No.]

I got a poster for Christmas that describes all sorts of handy tips for time-travelers. Is that close to going back in time and killing Grizzly Adams? Is he even a historical figure? (Yes, but I wouldn't put it past Alex to make me go back in time to kill a person who doesn't actually exist.)

[Alex's Edit: Grizzly Adams was an historical person, and he did have a beard. And, according to my Completely Updated for 2010 Edition of The Grizzly Adams Reader, he was still not murdered by an also-bearded time traveler. One day, Adams. One day you'll get yours...]

Ooh, but I did teach Alex just enough about the inner workings of this blog for him to crash the whole thing. If we're not here tomorrow, it's because I asked Alex to remove our seasonal HTML snow widget. (Kidding! Kidding! He'd more likely destroy the whole thing 'cuz I was insinuating he'd crash the blog if he fiddled with anything.)

[Alex's Edit: Just so's you all know, building this blog back up from the post-zombie apocalypse that I turned it into whilst trying to get rid of the snow widget--which, just so we're all clear, is not an actual person (that was embarrassing)--took three whole days, and more duct tape than a rational man should own.]

Oh, right, and we had some rational resolutions, too! To recap...

Nathaniel will:
- Make significant progress on his homebrew Super Mario World - No.
- Release version 1.0 of his Jetpack FAQ - No.
- Read through at least one of DC's Crisis series - No.
- Read enough of the Marvel Ultimate Universe to do a full-blown Exfanding post on it - No.
- Release YouTube videos of Mega Man 5-8 - Uh...does Mega Man 5 1/2 count?
- Formally expose Alex to Star Trek - No.
- Formally expose Alex to anime - No.

[Alex's Edit: Do you even understand the point of resolutions, Nathaniel?]

Alex will:
- Lend Nathaniel all the issues of The Goon that he hasn't read - No, Nathaniel's fault for not asking.
- Write a real post about Mega Man, and not some fluffy nonsense piece that simply has the words Mega and Man in it - No, despite Nathaniel's best efforts.
- Learn how to do all the HTML wizardry Nathaniel does with the blog - Whoa. Yes.
- Play a video game with Nathaniel - Double whoa. Yes. We played GoldenEye for the N64.
- Play at least one session of Dungeons & Dragons with a group of people - No. Hahaha--oops, Nathaniel's fault again.
- Join the Facebook Collective - Yes, but not like he ever uses it.
- Open a llama ranch in Argentina - Well, he saw a llama...or an alpaca...or a something.

[Alex's Edit: First off, it was an alpaca. And second off, I would have taken a picture of me standing next to it with thumb's up if that farmer wasn't pointing his sawed-off shotgun at me and singing Bob Dylan songs. And second off, I win the great Resolutions of 2010 Challenge that I just made up this minute.]

You know what? This year, we're not making any positive resolutions. [Alex's Edit: Finally! Something I actually agree with!] We'll make a list of things we're not going to do. Maybe then I'll actually get something done. So, in 2011...

[Alex's Edit: This should be good...]

Nathaniel will not...
- Teach Alex anything more advanced than, "Here, see. You log into the blog like this, and Facebook is a meeting place for people on the Internet. Plus, we've had fax machines since the 80s."
- Be able to get Alex to remember to bring over his Goon trades.
- Kill Grizzly Adams, apparently.

Alex will not...
- Get rid of the snow widget. He's defeated Alex thrice already, and Alex just can't take the sight of that much blood again.
- Be able to break his addiction to single-issue comics. Sure, he'll scream and moan (and possibly throw himself on the floor and refuse to leave Macy's until someone acknowledges him), but, as always, he'll submit to the new, shiny every Wednesday.
- Watch the remaining Star Wars movies. He may have been tricked into watching Episode I (possibly just this week, because, apparently, "doing blog stuff" is Nathaniel-speak for, "let's watch Liam Neeson talk to an annoying (and, frankly, racist) cartoon character and follow around a kid who can't act, but don't worry, will one day enslave an entire galaxy and kill Ewan McGregor"), but he'll never watch the last two (second and third?) movies!

Check that--Alex may watch both movies, if Grizzly Adams is finally offed by a time traveling blogger...

Happy 2011, folks! Here's to a great year filled with more of our nonsense!