Friday, November 14, 2008

I Don't Like Space

You should have seen the look on Nathaniel's face when I told him that I've never seen Star Wars. Let me tell you, it was classic. I don't remember the context of the conversation, or where we were, nor do I remember why Star Wars was even mentioned.

Perhaps Nathaniel made a "Han shot first" joke, and I was the only one not laughing.

Whatever the case may have been, I do remember his reaction. And, if his head could have would have.

After an uncomfortable amount of silence, finally, he managed to mutter, meekly, "why not?" And my answer was a simple one. And an honest one.

"I don't like space."

Flabbergasted as he was by my earlier proclamation of not having seen any of the movies, well, this comment sent him over the edge. And, this time, his head exploded.

Right there, on the spot.

And that's why, for the past two weeks, this blog has been peppered with posts by yours truly and an android that replaced the aforementioned and (now) woefully headless Nathaniel.

Bad, bad jokes aside, I have really never seen Star Wars. I did try watching the first movie once, and I had to turn it off after about 15 minutes because, as I've said, I do not like space.

I don't like airplanes, and I am what one would politely call a "bad flier." One would impolitely call me a "mental case" when I get on a plane. That said, flying higher than an airplane normally takes a person is just plain terrifying to me.

Now, that's not to say that I don't like space travel, mind you, because I am all for scientific advancement. I just don't want to be told too much about it.

It's kinda like, for example, I enjoy looking at the ocean. From a distance. But, I'm of the mind that all bodies of water that aren't neighborhood pools are shark-infested, and anyone who ventures out into them is All-Star-Batman-crazy.

And that's how I feel about space. So, to me, the possibility of having to sit through three movies that take place entirely in space...just doesn't sound like a day at the ballpark, if you know what I mean.

But, promises are promises, and since I lost a bet Nathaniel and I had a few weeks ago, I now have to sit down and watch Star Wars. The bet, for those interested in such things (and who wouldn't be!) went something like this:

If this here humble little blog-thingy reached 1,000 hits by the end of the calendar year, then I'd have to watch Star Wars. If we didn't reach the 1,000 hit mark by December 31, then Nathaniel would have had to sit down and read the entire run of The Goon comic series. (Possibly with me acting out a couple of scenes.)

Now, I think he should read The Goon anyway, since I think that everyone should read The Goon. Because, as I may have mentioned in the past, The Goon is Greatness. But, alas, I've lost, so now I can look forward to--wait, how many movies are there?


When the heck did that happen?

You have got to be kidding me.

If Nathaniel gets his way, expect a post about my Star Wars experience in the not too distant future. If I get my way...well, don't hold your breath.

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